Started a development circle, something remarkable happened

Finally taking it seriously.

I joined a circle last week and this is the second meeting. I walked away from this meeting for the second time on a high that was hard to come down from in a good way.

We had a practice reading to assess our style and level and somehow I ended up being the second to last to read, not necessarily a bad thing but it gave me time to gather myself so I wasnt a nervous wreck. First, Id like to address How we attuned to spirit, I thought the technique was comfortable and repeatable.

First, she had us close our eyes and focus on our breathing, centering a light in our heart and expanding all around. Then, we were told to sense spirit near us and invite them into our space. I immediately got the familiar sensation of the tight throat and sense of fullness in my head. The problem was that I had to wait and the longer I waited, I felt like I had to keep going back into that space to sustain the energy.

Eventually when my turn did come, I just gave what I got- a young man possibly under 15 with an 80s or early 90s style bowl haircut, brownish blond straight hair that loved animals, especially cats. Would be the type to gather animals off the street, calm demeanor but playful once you got to know him. The coordinator mentioned earlier to another person that if you continue talking, the energy will continue to flow so I tried not to pause long. I felt another little push from spirit and what stood out was the motion of him moving his hair from his face. I mentioned that he didnt like hair in his face and kept remarking how hes making me feel like I need to keep touching that area (the motion of my hand sweeping across my forehead as if moving bangs). I also felt like he passed from breathing issue, I thought it might be drowning but just had the feeling of unable to catch my breath.

I got a name but regretfully didnt give it, it sounded like Calvin. After a moment, the facilitator asked if anyone could take it so i waited an additional moment. She then proceeded to reveal that she herself could take the person. It was someone from her childhood around 1989 who had a bowl haircut, loved animals and would gather the local cats in the neighborhood, very quiet but playful when he warmed to you and had brown/blond hair. What astonished me was the fact that she repeated exactly what I mentioned about his hair, he didnt like hair in his face so much that his hair had a cowlick in the front from him constantly pushing it off his face. She said she had just found out not too long ago that he had passed at 16, he had asthma and passed from complications from a car accident.

I was blown away. I just went with it and tried my best to stay out of my head but never expected to have that much validation, especially that early on. Even now, hours later, I feel just full of energy and still faintly feel his energy. I can't wait to continue and see where this goes. This one small event has boosted my confidence in ways thtat I couldnt even imagine.

I dont feel like an imposter and the fact that I held the link for almost an hour was also remarkable. I thanked him for coming through and thanked her for the validation. Whats funny is she was so focused on the evidence that she forgot to give me feedback on where my clair sense was the strongest but remarked that clairvoyance was used alot, I agree, I saw many details but also felt his personality and heard a couple words- banana banana. It was exhilerating.

One last thing, she told me his name in the end and it made me realize that from now on, I will not withold names. 

It was Ian.