The Box Fan

 Where do I begin?

I guess this can all go back to when I was 8 or 9 years old, I’ve had a lot of strange things happen in my presence growing up so I’ll get right to it. As I grew older, I developed an interest in the paranormal and the occult as it was something that was in the forefront of my life for the most part.

Everyone has strange things happen to or around them at one point or another in their life, this is my story. I plan to document my everyday experiences and emotions as I learn more about myself and these strange encounters. I think calling them strange is the wrong choice of words because they have been normalized over time. There are some experiences that stand out and grab your attention but for the most part, they are both unexpected and expected.

I recently, and I use that term loosely as it has been almost 3 years, learned that I am a Medium.

That’s still a weird thing to say out loud and I have yet to utter them to only but a handful of people. Anyway, I’ve learned through the culmination of many events that I can see and hear spirit. I will try my best to describe what I mean by that because that term gets thrown around so much that it lacks meaning or sense for many, its certainly Not like the movies or over-dramatized tv shows out there. I am disgusted at many of them for breeding the fear into a society that already fears the unknown. It’s a lot of nonsense.

How it started...

Growing up, I had trouble sleeping at night, not because I was afraid of the dark or of being alone. I love both and it was comforting knowing I always had a dog in my room most of the time. I couldn’t sleep because when I would finally begin to doze off, I would hear what sounded like a room full of people talking at once, like sitting in a crowded diner. No one voice distinct, just chatter and it would continuously wake me up. At first I thought this was pretty normal since it would happen so frequently and I’m a light sleeper so the slightest noise startles me awake. But soon learned that it wasn’t common and when brought up in conversation, I was quickly shut down by odd looks or “you’re weird” comments.

Let me be clear, I don’t have any history of mental illness or drug use, no depression or mania, I’m typically a realist and very analytical. So as a child, hearing disparaging and dismissing remarks was not helpful and led me to question myself frequently. Hence the idea of sleeping with a fan began. I still to this day sleep with a fan or some sort of white noise as it helps me stay asleep and blocks out ambient noises. The fan did Not by any means stop the chatter, but it did provide a muffling where I was able to go back to sleep. This was the first clue as to my current calling in life, though at the time I did not recognize it.

As time went by, Ive had some pretty remarkable things happen which I’ll rehash at a later date but it then moved to seeing people out of the corner of my eye. Not Things, people. Walking down the street and casually see someone walk by and looking in their direction and notice there was no one there. Driving and glance a person standing at a stop light, then turning your head fully in their direction to see no one there. But there was, wasn’t there? Constantly questioning what the hell is going on? Maybe they weren’t there, maybe I was distracted with whatever I was doing, maybe they quickly ran down the street and I missed it, maybe, maybe, maybe.

Maybe, I couldn’t have seen someone in the hallway of my friends house. Maybe, that brief movement from the corner of my eye was simply a reflection of....? Who knows. I kept making excuses and felt like maybe...I Am losing it? But. I checked in with myself, I don’t hear voices telling me to do things, I don’t hallucinate big purple chickens and I don’t feel paranoid or fearful. It just happens.

This progressed onto more as time went by. My curiosity only pushed further into what this could be? But I didn’t think it was spirit, maybe just my active imagination or ghost remnants. As I explored others experiences, I heard many things and it was all fear based, I had a hard time believing in a lot of the theories because they were attached to fear and that’s not how I felt.

Ill leave it here because I don’t want to make this entry too long, to be continued.